Godforsaken Bastards and Why They Suck Ass

The Opening: A Season in the Shade

We have entered the era of the Godforsaken Bastard. It is a time defined not by leadership, but by the violent curation of chaos. A period where the traditional guardrails of decency haven't just been ignored, they’ve been sold for scrap. This is the portrait of a collective that thrives on the friction of a world in collapse, a rogue’s gallery of the high-born and the low-lived who have mistaken their cruelty for courage and their greed for a mandate. They move through our culture like a virus in a designer suit, insulated by billions and emboldened by a mob that has been taught to love the sound of breaking glass. This zine is the shadow to the saints; it is a jagged, unwashed look at the architects of our current misery, the enforcers of our fear, and the loud-mouthed parasites who provide the soundtrack to the demolition of the common good. Welcome to the wreckage.

Tolkein's Vogon Poetry

I've been trying to read Fellowship of the Ring again.

I read the series 35 years ago, and it was like slogging through Boston after the great molasses flood. Just agonizing.

Tolkein couldn't write poetry if a gun was held to his head and he was under threat of death to write a decent poem. And every chapter has one, two, or more of his awful fucking Vogon poetry.

I'll be just getting into the rhythm of the story when fucking JRR decides it's time to pull out his Prostetinic Vogon Jeltz mask and begin:

Fuck YOU, David Gerrold

Let me make this infinitely clear.

I have three kids, Lis, Ian, and Ava. They are my pride and my joy. I support them in their identities, their lives, their very beings.

Two of my kids are transgender. I am their number one ally. I will go to the mats against anybody who wants to tell me my kids are mentally ill for that, or that they are the gender that they were assigned at birth, or that they should be forced to use a room full of urinals instead of toilets, or any person who SUPPORTS somebody with those fucking ideas in their head (David Gerrold, I am looking at YOU, motherfucker!)

When Democracy Requires More Than Words

Democracy doesn't collapse in a single moment. It erodes gradually, through delay, complacency, and the comforting illusion that someone else will intervene before lasting damage is done. By the time the threat feels undeniable, the tools meant to stop it are often weakened or already gone.

This is the danger of treating civic engagement as symbolic rather than functional. Voting, representation, and institutional balance are not gestures of identity or expressions of mood. They are mechanisms. When those mechanisms fail to operate as designed, democratic systems lose their ability to correct abuse, enforce accountability, and restrain the concentration of power.

The Great Kitchen Standoff: A Bubbly Backwash Production

Left to right: Romeo, Connor, Cubby, Rocco. Cats in order: Not Bob, Mary Ann, Ada

I’m currently living in a low-budget nature documentary where the dogs are hairy potatoes and the cats are fuzzy dictators. Between Not Bob’s entitlement and Romeo’s vibrating tail, the kitchen has become a high-stakes war zone. Send help; or bacon.

I now present a world premier: The Great Kitchen Standoff: A Bubbly Backwash Production

The Midterm Mirage: America’s First Tyrant and the End of the Experiment

 

I’ve been listening to the "cancellation" rumors swirling around the White House this week; let’s be real; when this man hints at something, he’s usually already got the matches lit. The talk of "suspending" the 2026 midterms for "national security" or "election integrity" is the final boss of his authoritarian fever dream. We are staring down the barrel of a permanent presidency; the big question isn't just if he’ll try it, but what the hell happens when he does.

Let Them Eat Cake? Or Should They Eat The Rich?

A conversation snippet with my friend Gale inspired me to do some quick research and write up my thoughts about the super rich. Here we go:

Cap Is as Stupid as Pinocchio's Nose Is Long

I spent three hours last night chasing my own tail because "Cap", as I call the Microsoft Copilot AI pre-installed on my laptop, decided to run me around the fucking bushes. I asked for a simple fix to get my graphics filter librarian working; instead of the two-step solution I requested, I got a 2500-piece jigsaw puzzle (with one missing piece) of tech geekery that went nowhere.

The Stupidest Revenants in Modern Life: DST the Electoral College, and Inches

Daylight Saving Time made sense when the country was built on farming and manual labor. People woke up with the sun. Work depended on daylight. Shifting the clock actually changed how much usable light you had in a day. That world is gone. We are not an agrarian society anymore. We haven’t been for a long time. Yet twice a year we keep yanking the clock around like it still matters.

The whole thing is stupid now. Most people work indoors. Most people live by digital schedules. Our phones adjust automatically. Our jobs don’t depend on squeezing the last bit of sunlight out of the evening. But we still cling to this outdated ritual that does nothing except screw up sleep cycles, disrupt kids’ routines, and make everyone miserable for a week. It’s a tradition that survived only because no one bothered to kill it.

A fantasy... Donnie Is Gonna Learn Today!

The following is a purely fictional account that is not about any real person, living or dead, I promise. 

It resulted from a ChatGPT prompt that David Gerrold had used just to pass the time. I took the idea, ran it through Copilot, refining it as we went through several iterations and laughing my ass off and shaking my head all the way through.

Since it was David's idea, I got his permission before bastardizing it.

Really, this is fiction, and bears NO resemblance to real people, seriously!

Spammers should have to shampoo my crotch

Fee fie foe fammer, boy I hate a spammer!

The other day I put a contact form on the blog. Thought it might be a good idea, ya know?

Tonight, I got about a dozen emails that were clearly from spambots.

Fucking hell. Assholes wreck everything.

The Cravings Never Really End

Nicotine Is Insidious.

I just spent five stupid minutes going full tornado, ripping through my desk like I was searching for state secrets. Lifting papers, opening drawers, rifling like a woman possessed.

Looking for my fucking cigarettes.

My cigarettes.

I quit smoking two years and five weeks ago.  

There is no nicotine in this house.  

There has not been for a long damn time.

And yet my brain still tried to run the old script:  

"Quick! Check under that pile of junk mail! Maybe Past You stashed a pack for Future You, like some deranged nicotine Easter Bunny!"

D'OH.

Nicotine is a sneaky little bastard. It shows up at the weirdest moments, taps you on the shoulder, and whispers, "Hey... remember how good we were together?" 

And I swear, for about ten seconds, or ten minutes depending on how stressed I am, I would absolutely throw hands for a smoke.

But here is the thing:  

I am not losing this fight.  

Not today, not ever.
Never fucking EVER!

Cigarettes are banned from this house like cursed artifacts. My brother, who still smokes, has to keep his pack in the car and trek a hundred feet to the designated exile chair. That is the rule. That is the boundary. That is how I keep myself safe.

I am stealing a line from my friend and webqueen, Maggie:  

I am not an ex smoker.  

I am a smoker in recovery.

And recovery is a permanent condition, but so is my stubbornness.

Nicotine can try me, but it is not getting back in. Fuck that.

Impeach and CONVICT Trump NOW!

 

There is a point where a country either wakes up or sleepwalks straight off a cliff. People keep acting like this is just another news cycle, another round of political noise,or another thing to scroll past on the way to cat videos and dinner plans. But this isn't background static. This is the fire alarm blaring at full volume while half the country pretends it's a ringtone. We're living inside an emergency, and the refusal to name it is part of the emergency.

Because this is not about one moment, one headline, or one outrageous quote. It's an accumulation, a pattern, the relentless grinding erosion of guardrails and basic expectations of leadership. Every time something crosses a line, the line gets redrawn a little further out, and people shrug a little harder, and the whole thing becomes a little more normal and accepted...

The Board of "Peace" and The Threat of War

I read an article in The Guardian about how Trump sits at the head of something he is calling the “Board of Peace” and somehow manages to threaten Iran with “bad things” if they do not fall in line within ten days. Ten days. Like he is handing out a goddam eviction notice instead of talking about potential military action. He says the talks have been “good,” as if that word magically cancels out the threat hanging off the end of his sentence like a loaded weapon.

So there he is, perched on his shiny new “Board of Peace,” casually dangling the possibility of war like it's a fucking party favor. Peace, apparently, now means “do what I fucking say or I will blow your shit up.” Peace means smiling for the cameras while you rattle sabers under the table. Peace means pretending diplomacy is happening while you count down to violence like it is a goddam game show.

The fucking absurdity is so thick you could spread it on toast...

Not Bob: The Orange Cat Who Thinks He’s a Dog

 

Not Bob isn’t just a cat. He’s a phenomenon in orange fur, a walking burst of confidence and questionable decisions who somehow manages to charm every creature in the house. He talks constantly, a running commentary of meow, meOW, MEOW that sounds less like a request and more like a declaration of his own importance. And the dogs believe him. Romeo drags him across the room by the scruff like a beloved plush toy, and Not Bob just goes limp with the blissful trust of someone who has never once considered the possibility of danger. He lets the dogs groom him, shove him, nudge him, and he returns the favor by inserting himself into every canine moment like he was born into the pack. He isn’t a guest in the dog world. He’s a citizen. Maybe even a diplomat.

The little beast has one, POSSIBLY two, brain cells...

His hobbies include locking himself in the bathroom by pushing the door shut, then immediately complaining at full volume until someone rescues him. He also has a long‑running feud with the floor vents. Not Bob has pulled them up, chewed through tape, defeated glue, and ignored every deterrent except bricks, which he is not yet strong enough to move. He would absolutely appreciate a set of weights for his birthday so he can train for the day he reclaims access to the heat‑duct underworld.

There’s no dignity in him, no hesitation, no fear. Just pure, unfiltered orange cat energy wrapped around a heart that believes every creature is a friend. In a house full of dogs and stories and history, Not Bob has somehow carved out his own legend simply by being exactly who he is: loud, fearless, affectionate, and absolutely convinced he belongs everywhere.

How the FUCK Are MAGA Followers Still Worshipping This Guy?

 

At this point, trying to understand MAGA loyalty feels like trying to explain why a goddam raccoon keeps coming back to the same dumpster fire. You’d think eventually the smell of burning garbage and shit would register. But no, they’re still there, still digging, still convinced they’ve found treasure while the rest of us are fucking gagging.

Because honestly, how in fuck do you keep supporting someone after everything that’s come out? We’re talking about a man with multiple criminal convictions, a man who’s been at the center of more lawsuits than a defective chainsaw company, a man who is all over the Epstein files (and probably guilty of pedophilia), a man whose public behavior would get any normal person fired, shunned, or at least politely escorted out of the building. But not him. No, he’s their golden calf with a spray tan and a microphone...

We’re Not Imagining This - It’s the Same Motherfucking Playbook

Let’s stop pretending this shit is subtle. The current administration is running the same early‑stage authoritarian bullshit the Nazis pulled, and everyone acting shocked can go ahead and sit down. This isn’t hysteria. This isn’t exaggeration. This is the part of the history book where the margins should be screaming “PAY ATTENTION, YOU DUMBASS MOTHERFUCKERS!”

People love to imagine fascism arrives with jackboots and bonfires on day one. No. It shows up with a smirk, a flag, and a bunch of assholes insisting that cruelty is “policy.” It shows up with leaders who talk like bullies, act like bullies, and then pretend they’re victims when anyone calls them out. It shows up with crowds chanting garbage that sounds like it was ripped straight out of a 1930s hate rally, except now it’s amplified by social media and weaponized stupidity...

The United States Has Become A Crime Scene and the Government Is Holding the Blood Dripping Blade

The United States feels like it is being peeled apart layer by layer, and the last few weeks have been a nonstop avalanche of cruelty, incompetence, and raw authoritarian hunger. It is like watching a house burn down while the people holding the hoses argue about whether fire is even real. Every day brings another headline that makes you want to scream until your throat tears. Every day brings another reminder that the people in charge are not just failing at their jobs. They are actively choosing violence, chaos, and suffering because it benefits them.

The last three weeks have been a grotesque parade of power flexing and moral decay. It feels like the country is being held hostage by people who get off on watching others suffer. Every press conference is a performance of arrogance. Every policy announcement feels like a threat. Every smug grin from the people responsible for this mess feels like a slap in the face to anyone who still believes in basic human decency. It is infuriating. It is nauseating. It is enough to make you want to tear the whole system down to the studs and start over...

Ukraine Is Still Standing and Russia Is Still Throwing a Tantrum

Russia’s full scale invasion keeps dragging on like the world’s most deranged midlife crisis, and somehow the Kremlin still has not figured out that Ukraine is not going to fucking die just because Moscow thinks it should. Ukraine is fighting for its existence while Russia stomps around like a pissed off toddler who found out the universe does not revolve around its crusty Soviet nostalgia fantasies. Every missile Russia fires is another pathetic attempt to bully a country that has already proven it would rather crawl through hell than surrender a single inch of its land.

Ukraine keeps doing the impossible. Cities get blown to shit and people sweep up the debris and rebuild like it is just another Tuesday. Soldiers rotate out of trenches that look like the inside of a nightmare and go right back because they refuse to let their country be turned into Putin’s personal fucking theme park. Families scatter across continents and still manage to support each other with a level of resilience that makes Russia’s entire propaganda machine look like a clown show. The whole nation is held together by grit, grief, and a collective fuck you aimed directly at Moscow...

Forcing some facts down MAGA throats

 

Look, here's the thing.

There are gay men. They love other men, and they sometimes marry.
There are gay women. They love other women, and THEY sometimes marry.
And there are straight people of both "main" genders, they love the opposite sex, and yep, sometimes they marry.

Some of the aforementioned gay folks are celebrities of one sort or another. Music, acting, writing, etc.

Narrowing down on the writers, many writers today not only publish books, but maintain blogs, Facebook and Xitter accounts, Substacks, and more. When a person begins following that writers page, they have volunteered to be exposed to what that writer puts on that social media account.

So signing up to read posts from "Don'tCrossAGayMan" and then complaining because Misha regularly mentions his husband, and saying he is shoving his lifestyle down the complainant's throat. Because as soon as somebody signs up, Misha hacks their network so that they can ONLY see his homosexual, rainbow tinted, Twinkie posts, most of which are not gay specific, they're about being KIND.

FFS. Nobody dragged these people in. Nobody is sitting on them to keep them in the group. They did this shit THEMSELVES. And the writer isn't describing the blow job he gave his husband the night before. He simply mentioned that he HAS a husband.

I wish I was gay. I would totally shove it down people's throats. I would be the world's butchest Lesbian, wearing the teeshirt with the double female sign and sneering in disgust at every straight person or male person that I see, provided they are also a closed minded asshat MAGA jerk.

That would be loads of fun!