The Cravings Never Really End

Nicotine Is Insidious.

I just spent five stupid minutes going full tornado, ripping through my desk like I was searching for state secrets. Lifting papers, opening drawers, rifling like a woman possessed.

Looking for my fucking cigarettes.

My cigarettes.

I quit smoking two years and five weeks ago.  

There is no nicotine in this house.  

There has not been for a long damn time.

And yet my brain still tried to run the old script:  

"Quick! Check under that pile of junk mail! Maybe Past You stashed a pack for Future You, like some deranged nicotine Easter Bunny!"

D'OH.

Nicotine is a sneaky little bastard. It shows up at the weirdest moments, taps you on the shoulder, and whispers, "Hey... remember how good we were together?" 

And I swear, for about ten seconds, or ten minutes depending on how stressed I am, I would absolutely throw hands for a smoke.

But here is the thing:  

I am not losing this fight.  

Not today, not ever.
Never fucking EVER!

Cigarettes are banned from this house like cursed artifacts. My brother, who still smokes, has to keep his pack in the car and trek a hundred feet to the designated exile chair. That is the rule. That is the boundary. That is how I keep myself safe.

I am stealing a line from my friend and webqueen, Maggie:  

I am not an ex smoker.  

I am a smoker in recovery.

And recovery is a permanent condition, but so is my stubbornness.

Nicotine can try me, but it is not getting back in. Fuck that.

FUCK Cancer! Fuck It In The EAR! I’m DONE Watching This Monster Hurt People I Love

Cancer is the one motherfucker that never clocks out. It doesn’t care how good you are, how careful you’ve been, how much you’ve already survived. It just shows up like a goddam wrecking ball and dares you to pretend this is normal. I’m fucking sick of it. I’m sick of watching people I love get blindsided by a piece of shit disease that feels like it’s everywhere, all the time, creeping into every family like some kind of outrageous cosmic joke.

We talk about cancer like it’s a statistic, like it’s a chart, like it’s a ribbon color. But when it hits your circle, it’s not a number, it’s a gut punch. It’s fear. It’s rage. It’s the helplessness of knowing that even with all our medical advances of the last motherfucking century, all our research, all our awareness campaigns, this thing still keeps taking swings at the people who deserve it the least.

And I’m tired. Tired of pretending to be calm. Tired of acting like this is just part of life. Tired of watching strong, brilliant, irreplaceable people get dragged into a fight they never fucking asked for...

Missing and/or Kidnapped - THEY MATTER TOO!

Look, I feel awful about Nancy Guthrie, I really do. No 84 year old woman (or anybody else for that matter) should be abducted.

But let's get real. Hundreds of women and men and children get abducted or go missing every single year in this country, and for the most part, we don't hear dick about them.

Here's a few missing just this year alone, and it's only mid-February:

• Virginia Parker (Reno, Nevada): 17-year-old missing since January 23, 2026.
• Cherell Brooks (New Castle, Delaware): 32-year-old missing since February 5, 2026.
• Ianna Geniyah Mondesir (Virginia): Missing since February 9, 2026, also 17 years old.
• Kara Hynd (Ohio):  Missing as of February 8, 2026.
• Sophia Barajas (California): 15 years old, missing as of January 11, 2026.
• Mara Minott: (Michigan): Missing since November 2025.

The thing MOST of these missing women and girls have in common? All but one of them is Black or Latina. And none of them are the mother or daughter of a celebrity.

Don't they matter?

Don't they?

This Body Is Scaring Me, But I’m Not Done Fighting

There’s a particular kind of fear that comes when your own body starts slipping out from under you. Not the dramatic kind, just the slow, creeping kind that shows up in hospital monitors, new diagnoses, and the way your breath catches wrong or your heart decides to improvise without permission. It’s the kind that makes you realize you’re not invincible, not even close.

I’ve been living in that fear lately...

Ukraine Is Still Standing and Russia Is Still Throwing a Tantrum

Russia’s full scale invasion keeps dragging on like the world’s most deranged midlife crisis, and somehow the Kremlin still has not figured out that Ukraine is not going to fucking die just because Moscow thinks it should. Ukraine is fighting for its existence while Russia stomps around like a pissed off toddler who found out the universe does not revolve around its crusty Soviet nostalgia fantasies. Every missile Russia fires is another pathetic attempt to bully a country that has already proven it would rather crawl through hell than surrender a single inch of its land.

Ukraine keeps doing the impossible. Cities get blown to shit and people sweep up the debris and rebuild like it is just another Tuesday. Soldiers rotate out of trenches that look like the inside of a nightmare and go right back because they refuse to let their country be turned into Putin’s personal fucking theme park. Families scatter across continents and still manage to support each other with a level of resilience that makes Russia’s entire propaganda machine look like a clown show. The whole nation is held together by grit, grief, and a collective fuck you aimed directly at Moscow...

THEY WANT YER GUNS, BILLY BOB!

Bill Clinton will take your guns.

Obama will take your guns.

Bernie is coming for the guns.

Hillary is going to take your guns.

Buttigieg, Klobuchar, Gabbard, Biden, Kerry, Gore, they will wrench the gun from your cold dead gripping fingers!

So who wants the guns?

Looks like the entire Trump administration does...

MAGA, motherfuckers! Seig Heil!

 

Now that it could be them, they're speaking out

 

I'm going to say it, and a lot louder for those in the back.

When it was "just" black men and women being shot in the street like rabid dogs by law enforcement, the country just mostly shrugged and went on to the next ex-judicial killing of innocent people. Because obviously, they were nefarious criminals who were outside walking or driving while black with ulterior motives. Can't be having with that.

Then it was a white woman in Minneapolis, and people started getting mad. But it was only a woman, and a Lesbian at that, so only a few people got angry. A wife has been widowed, a child has been orphaned, and Donald Trump says that this woman who was sitting in a vehicle and speaking peacefully was, and I fucking quote, "A professional agitator".

Now it's a white man.

And now shit is getting real to the MAGA 2A ammosexual fuckheads.

Now they're not liking it. Now the NRA is speaking out. 

Because next time, it could be them or the guy they play poker with on Tuesday nights.

NOW the Republicraps are starting to blink an eye.

Not Trump and Miller, of course. Those pieces of shit just want most of us dead.

But they're starting to see what's actually going down.

Maybe THIS will be the spark that fans into a major flame.

Something's got to fucking give.

That closet has several thick oak doors, and it SUCKS!

 I wish my daughter felt safe to be herself, but outside the house, it's rural Texas out there, and it ain't safe. It ain't safe at all in this part of Texas to be visibly trans. If you don't "pass", you best stay presenting what your birth determination says you should dress like. And Lis does not pass. She's beautiful, absolutely beautiful, but even if she dressed as a girl usually dresses, they would spot her and make her life hell. Or make her life... NOT. Texas.

I wish she could afford to move to at least Austin, but on less than $800 a month income (disability) that ain't happening. At least there's liberals there. 😛 But ideally, I would see her in the San Francisco Bay Area, with her unusual sibling, my 34 year old estranged kid. However, I think those two would really be good for each other. And Lis would be a lot safer. Sadly, I can't say "safe". Nowhere seems to be all that safe for trans folks. Some places are better than others, but none of them are wondefully safe.

If you're trans, a lot of the world paints a target on your face and on your heart. And that just sucks so damn hard. If you don't feel safe, then do what you are able to do in order to stay safe. And safe also includes safe within yourself, not hurting yourself by staying hidden, if it's making you absolutely miserable.

It's making Lis miserable, and I want to help her and I don't know what the hell to do. I've told her that if she wants to dress pretty around the house, even if she doesn't want to dress that way in downtown Fort Worth, she is more than welcome to. I've offered to show her ways to braid her long hair. When she came out to me and Sam, I took her to get her ears pierced. I just don't know what the hell to do to be more supportive of her and help her be happier. It hurts, to see her moping and moping and rarely smiling. She was such a happy go lucky kid.

If wishes were fishes, then beggars would ride, as I always told the kids when they wanted the impossible to attain, like the latest most brand new gaming console that can't be had for love nor money, and even if you found one, it would be $750 and you can not spend that on games.

Reblogging Stacie Rose - It's about power

Yesterday, the Supreme Court heard arguments about trans girls in girls’ sports.

Let’s stop pretending this is a good-faith debate.

The political right is openly demanding that two opposite things be true at the same time, and they don’t even care anymore if anyone notices.

Reblogging Occupy Democrats: And This Bird You Cannot Chain...

Occupy Democrats ·

BREAKING: Trump MELTS DOWN on factory floor, shouts “F*CK YOU!” and flips off worker who yelled “PEDOPHILE PROTECTOR!”

Donald Trump’s carefully choreographed “working man” photo-op at a Detroit Ford plant went completely off the rails — and straight into the gutter — when the president responded to a factory worker’s shout with a profanity and a raised middle finger.

While touring the Ford River Rouge complex in Dearborn, Michigan ahead of a speech on the economy, the sitting president was heckled by a worker who shouted “pedophile protector” as Trump walked above the assembly line. Instead of ignoring it, addressing it, or acting remotely presidential, Trump did what he does best: he lost his temper.

Video from the scene shows Trump yelling back “F--- you!”, pointing angrily — and then escalating by flipping the worker the middle finger. Yes, the president of the United States gave a blue-collar autoworker the bird on camera during a public appearance.

So much for “respecting American workers.”

The shout referenced Trump’s long-documented past association with Jeffrey Epstein, the disgraced financier and convicted sex offender whose name still haunts Trump’s orbit as questions swirl over the slow release of Epstein-related records. Trump has denied wrongdoing and insists he cut ties with Epstein years ago after a falling-out at Mar-a-Lago. He has not been charged with any crime connected to Epstein.

But none of that explains why a president who claims to be “strong” and “in control” instantly unraveled over a single shouted phrase.

Instead of rising above it, Trump descended into a full-blown tantrum — cursing and gesturing obscenely at a worker whose taxes help pay his salary. This wasn’t a private moment. It wasn’t a hot mic slip. It was a filmed, public display of rage and contempt.

TMZ summed it up bluntly: Donald Trump turned into “Donald Grump,” unleashing an F-bomb and flipping the “bald eagle” in response to criticism. That’s not leadership. That’s insecurity on full display.

And let’s not miss the irony: this happened at a Ford plant — the very kind of workplace Trump loves to use as a political backdrop while attacking unions, undermining worker protections, and pushing policies that benefit billionaires over labor.

When challenged, Trump didn’t defend his record. He didn’t correct the accusation. He didn’t show empathy. He flipped off a worker and cursed him out. This is who he is when the cameras catch him off-script: thin-skinned, volatile, and openly hostile to dissent.

The irony couldn’t be richer. Trump claims to stand with workers, yet when one speaks out, he responds with contempt. He claims moral outrage against his critics, yet answers serious accusations with a middle finger.

Detroit didn’t get an economic message that day. It got a reminder of exactly who Donald Trump is when the cameras are rolling — and when they’re not.

Presidential? Not even close. The middle finger wasn’t just aimed at one man on the factory floor. It was aimed at anyone who dared to question him.

Please like and share to show the world the contempt that Trump displays toward anyone who dares to challenge him.

I Will NOT Go Quietly!

 

This is what they're LEGALLY permitted to do.

But do not be fooled. They do NOT follow the fucking law.

If you are confronted by them, be very aware that they do not give a FUCK about you, the law, being civil, being decent, or anything else.

They're gonna have to shoot me down, because I will not go quietly.

SOS MOTHERFUCKERS!!

 

Walz has the National Guard on standby in Minneapolis.

ICE is flooding the city, over 2000 ICE thugs, which is larger than the Minneapolis PD by a HUGE amount (Minn. has between 570 and 590 police officers). They are beating citizens, doing door to door searches (which is OUTSIDE their purview!), arresting citizens and legal residents, brutalizing them, then refusing them medical aid. They have murdered at least one woman, and who the fuck KNOWS what they have done behind closed doors where they won't let congressmembers go, even though the LAW says they have to let the representatives in. 

At some point, there will be open warfare in the streets. It may be in Minneapolis. It may be Chicago. It may be Los Angeles or New York or Miami or Dallas.

But it's going to happen, because Trump WANTS it to happen. He's fucking wallowing in this filth he's created.

And when it happens, a lot of innocent citizens are going to get hurt, and some will die.

We need help. Desperately.

For Renee

 
Her name was

Renee Nicole Macklin Good

Scream it loudly

FUCK ICE
FUCK MAGA
FUCK TRUMP MOST OF ALL

My Fucking Sister Is A Piece Of Shit

When you plan to give somebody a simple gift of a book that you know they would love, and they spit in your face and say "Keep it, I'm trying to get rid of stuff." Like a fucking BOOK takes up a ton of space. 

Guaranteed she's buying some damn ugly piece of 1950s furniture this week, or some tacky green opaque glassware to fill her cabinets with and feel like she's so fucking bougie.

Fuck her and her pretentious, phony, all about appearances, bullshit self.

(Note: A LOT of anger inside, proceed at your own risk.)

PETA Can Suck My Non-Existent Cock And Choke On It

My argument with a crazy Swedish "animal rights activist" today (who said that Brigitte Bardot's racism and sexism were FINE because she was for the animals, and who said Whitney Houston deserved to die because she wore fur) reminded me of the time I went to a movie theater in San Francisco, and PETA had set up on the sidewalk outside. In the gutter about ten feet from PETA's table was a dying pigeon. 

Reblogging Michael Jochum: A Clarion Call from the Ruins of the Kennedy Center

A Clarion Call from the Ruins of the Kennedy Center

Artistic integrity will always rule over moral turpitude.

Always.

And that is precisely why the so-called “Trump Kennedy Center” now stands as one of the most grotesque acts of cultural vandalism in American history.

The Greatest Peace Prize in the History of Peace: As told by Donald J Trump - Reblog Michael Jochum

Let me tell you something, folks, and the fake news is going to HATE this, but what happened tonight? Incredible. Historic. People are saying it may be the greatest honor ever given to a president. They’re calling it the “Peace Prize,” but really, it’s THE prize. The only prize. And honestly? It makes the Nobel Prize look like something you get in a cereal box...

(Reblogging Michael Jochum) The Man Who Forgot the Room (or, Clots and Prayers in the Oval Age of Confusion)

 

Let’s talk about the photograph taken today, President Donald J. Trump, sitting slack-jawed at a table, eyes half-closed, posture melting into his chair like a wax figure left too close to a Florida window. This isn’t a retired celebrity sighting. This is the current President of the United States, looking for all the world like a man who has forgotten not just where he is, but who he is, and why the room around him keeps stubbornly refusing to turn into a golf cart.

This is the man with the nuclear codes.

This is the man making life-or-death decisions about wars, alliances, famine, immigration, climate, surveillance, and democracy itself...

Embolism now, please. America is waiting.

Not really, since you'd go to fucking Club Fed and live like a goddam king in there.

I'll be happy if you get the death penalty in a court of law as a result of your treason against the US Constitution and your oath of office. I'll be happy if you have a massive fatal embolism during one of your insane and unhinged tirades.

I will be happy when you're in your grave through no help of any but legal channels or your own poor health choices. This is not a threat. This is a prayer. Please, God, prove you exist, strike down this blaspemous, hateful, cum guzzling, son of a whore QUICKLY! Stop his heart with extreme prejudice. Make it painful, make it hurt, make him SUFFER.

Either that, or I will be happy when you lose absolutely everything and are living in a single room occupancy coakroach infested hell down by the fucking docks, subsisting on top ramen and tap water until you die, alone, forgotten, unloved, and unnoticed until your corpse stench informs the nation that its nightmare is finally completely over.

My health is incredibly poor, and right now, my only goal in life is to keep my heart beating and my lungs pumping for 24 hours AFTER your shit stops, you motherfucking slimy, cocksucking, ball nibbling, dog fucking, cat shit eating bastard.

Why? Because I HATE you! M O U S E.