Spammers should have to shampoo my crotch

Fee fie foe fammer, boy I hate a spammer!

The other day I put a contact form on the blog. Thought it might be a good idea, ya know?

Tonight, I got about a dozen emails that were clearly from spambots.

Fucking hell. Assholes wreck everything.

The Cravings Never Really End

Nicotine Is Insidious.

I just spent five stupid minutes going full tornado, ripping through my desk like I was searching for state secrets. Lifting papers, opening drawers, rifling like a woman possessed.

Looking for my fucking cigarettes.

My cigarettes.

I quit smoking two years and five weeks ago.  

There is no nicotine in this house.  

There has not been for a long damn time.

And yet my brain still tried to run the old script:  

"Quick! Check under that pile of junk mail! Maybe Past You stashed a pack for Future You, like some deranged nicotine Easter Bunny!"

D'OH.

Nicotine is a sneaky little bastard. It shows up at the weirdest moments, taps you on the shoulder, and whispers, "Hey... remember how good we were together?" 

And I swear, for about ten seconds, or ten minutes depending on how stressed I am, I would absolutely throw hands for a smoke.

But here is the thing:  

I am not losing this fight.  

Not today, not ever.
Never fucking EVER!

Cigarettes are banned from this house like cursed artifacts. My brother, who still smokes, has to keep his pack in the car and trek a hundred feet to the designated exile chair. That is the rule. That is the boundary. That is how I keep myself safe.

I am stealing a line from my friend and webqueen, Maggie:  

I am not an ex smoker.  

I am a smoker in recovery.

And recovery is a permanent condition, but so is my stubbornness.

Nicotine can try me, but it is not getting back in. Fuck that.

Impeach and CONVICT Trump NOW!

 

There is a point where a country either wakes up or sleepwalks straight off a cliff. People keep acting like this is just another news cycle, another round of political noise,or another thing to scroll past on the way to cat videos and dinner plans. But this isn't background static. This is the fire alarm blaring at full volume while half the country pretends it's a ringtone. We're living inside an emergency, and the refusal to name it is part of the emergency.

Because this is not about one moment, one headline, or one outrageous quote. It's an accumulation, a pattern, the relentless grinding erosion of guardrails and basic expectations of leadership. Every time something crosses a line, the line gets redrawn a little further out, and people shrug a little harder, and the whole thing becomes a little more normal and accepted...

Punk Lyrics: You’ll Answer One Day

[Verse 1]

Kick in the door, ICE in the van,

Five-year-old sobs, they don’t give a damn.

Mom on the ground, zip ties tight,

“Just doing our job” you’re a fucking parasite.

[Chorus]

You’ll answer one day, you bootlicking freaks,

For blood on the pavement and trauma that reeks.

For cages and silence and bureaucrat spin

Justice is coming, and it’s gonna dig in.

[Verse 2]

You call it law, we call it fucking rot,

You signed the orders, now you’re caught.

You watched them die, you filed your form,

You’re the motherfucking stormtrooper in uniform.

[Bridge]

Hide behind flags, behind your fake pride,

But the ghosts of the stolen will never let you hide.

Every scream, every name, every soul you erased

Will crash through your gates like a riot - with mace.

[Chorus]

You’ll answer one day, you bootlicking freaks,

For blood on the pavement and trauma that reeks.

For cages and silence and bureaucrat spin

Justice is coming, and it’s gonna dig in.

[Outro]

So sleep with your memos and chain-link dreams,

But we’re coming with fury and gasoline.

We’ve got voices, and rage, and a score to settle

And we’ll carve your crimes into twisted metal.

Ukraine Is Still Standing and Russia Is Still Throwing a Tantrum

Russia’s full scale invasion keeps dragging on like the world’s most deranged midlife crisis, and somehow the Kremlin still has not figured out that Ukraine is not going to fucking die just because Moscow thinks it should. Ukraine is fighting for its existence while Russia stomps around like a pissed off toddler who found out the universe does not revolve around its crusty Soviet nostalgia fantasies. Every missile Russia fires is another pathetic attempt to bully a country that has already proven it would rather crawl through hell than surrender a single inch of its land.

Ukraine keeps doing the impossible. Cities get blown to shit and people sweep up the debris and rebuild like it is just another Tuesday. Soldiers rotate out of trenches that look like the inside of a nightmare and go right back because they refuse to let their country be turned into Putin’s personal fucking theme park. Families scatter across continents and still manage to support each other with a level of resilience that makes Russia’s entire propaganda machine look like a clown show. The whole nation is held together by grit, grief, and a collective fuck you aimed directly at Moscow...

THEY WANT YER GUNS, BILLY BOB!

Bill Clinton will take your guns.

Obama will take your guns.

Bernie is coming for the guns.

Hillary is going to take your guns.

Buttigieg, Klobuchar, Gabbard, Biden, Kerry, Gore, they will wrench the gun from your cold dead gripping fingers!

So who wants the guns?

Looks like the entire Trump administration does...

MAGA, motherfuckers! Seig Heil!

 

Now that it could be them, they're speaking out

 

I'm going to say it, and a lot louder for those in the back.

When it was "just" black men and women being shot in the street like rabid dogs by law enforcement, the country just mostly shrugged and went on to the next ex-judicial killing of innocent people. Because obviously, they were nefarious criminals who were outside walking or driving while black with ulterior motives. Can't be having with that.

Then it was a white woman in Minneapolis, and people started getting mad. But it was only a woman, and a Lesbian at that, so only a few people got angry. A wife has been widowed, a child has been orphaned, and Donald Trump says that this woman who was sitting in a vehicle and speaking peacefully was, and I fucking quote, "A professional agitator".

Now it's a white man.

And now shit is getting real to the MAGA 2A ammosexual fuckheads.

Now they're not liking it. Now the NRA is speaking out. 

Because next time, it could be them or the guy they play poker with on Tuesday nights.

NOW the Republicraps are starting to blink an eye.

Not Trump and Miller, of course. Those pieces of shit just want most of us dead.

But they're starting to see what's actually going down.

Maybe THIS will be the spark that fans into a major flame.

Something's got to fucking give.

Reblogging Michael Jochum - Clots and Prayers

It's extremely unfair to speculate about Trump's health just because he’s elderly and can't form linear thoughts and has the diet of a first grader who won the lottery and his flesh has been changing color like autumn leaves.

Even the most monstrous structures carry a weakness inside them, a small rebellion under pressure. Similar to a blood clot in the physical body. I believe in that weakness. Go, clot. Do your work

Clots and prayers

I Will NOT Go Quietly!

 

This is what they're LEGALLY permitted to do.

But do not be fooled. They do NOT follow the fucking law.

If you are confronted by them, be very aware that they do not give a FUCK about you, the law, being civil, being decent, or anything else.

They're gonna have to shoot me down, because I will not go quietly.

SOS MOTHERFUCKERS!!

 

Walz has the National Guard on standby in Minneapolis.

ICE is flooding the city, over 2000 ICE thugs, which is larger than the Minneapolis PD by a HUGE amount (Minn. has between 570 and 590 police officers). They are beating citizens, doing door to door searches (which is OUTSIDE their purview!), arresting citizens and legal residents, brutalizing them, then refusing them medical aid. They have murdered at least one woman, and who the fuck KNOWS what they have done behind closed doors where they won't let congressmembers go, even though the LAW says they have to let the representatives in. 

At some point, there will be open warfare in the streets. It may be in Minneapolis. It may be Chicago. It may be Los Angeles or New York or Miami or Dallas.

But it's going to happen, because Trump WANTS it to happen. He's fucking wallowing in this filth he's created.

And when it happens, a lot of innocent citizens are going to get hurt, and some will die.

We need help. Desperately.

For Renee

 
Her name was

Renee Nicole Macklin Good

Scream it loudly

FUCK ICE
FUCK MAGA
FUCK TRUMP MOST OF ALL

My Fucking Sister Is A Piece Of Shit

When you plan to give somebody a simple gift of a book that you know they would love, and they spit in your face and say "Keep it, I'm trying to get rid of stuff." Like a fucking BOOK takes up a ton of space. 

Guaranteed she's buying some damn ugly piece of 1950s furniture this week, or some tacky green opaque glassware to fill her cabinets with and feel like she's so fucking bougie.

Fuck her and her pretentious, phony, all about appearances, bullshit self.

(Note: A LOT of anger inside, proceed at your own risk.)

PETA Can Suck My Non-Existent Cock And Choke On It

My argument with a crazy Swedish "animal rights activist" today (who said that Brigitte Bardot's racism and sexism were FINE because she was for the animals, and who said Whitney Houston deserved to die because she wore fur) reminded me of the time I went to a movie theater in San Francisco, and PETA had set up on the sidewalk outside. In the gutter about ten feet from PETA's table was a dying pigeon. 

Bullies and Territory Marking - Also, FUCK Trump!

I am 61 years old. The last time I heard insults like Trump keeps throwing around I was in third grade and the classroom bully was picking on the kid who had cerebral palsy and had to use those arm crutches. Except that when the playground monitor lady told the bully about cerebral palsy, the bully apologized to the disabled kid.

That third grade bully had more maturity and integrity than this “President”.

I am so ashamed that Trump sits in the oval office and is marking EVERYTHING with his name, much like a male cat marks his territory by pissing on everything in sight.

Fuck UrgentCare2Go in the ass with a cactus!

House call doctors just fired me as a patient.

Said I'm too complex.

They wasted weeks of my time. Then they had me spend 45 minutes talking to a PA today, telling her all my medications and dosages. Then the doctor told me to fuck off. He didn't use that wording, but that's what it boiled down to.

I am ANGRY!

Now I have to find ANOTHER PCP, set up an appointment ASAP because I need refills on ALL my medications, and I could just fucking scream.

Avoid this company, they will waste your time.

The Greatest Peace Prize in the History of Peace: As told by Donald J Trump - Reblog Michael Jochum

Let me tell you something, folks, and the fake news is going to HATE this, but what happened tonight? Incredible. Historic. People are saying it may be the greatest honor ever given to a president. They’re calling it the “Peace Prize,” but really, it’s THE prize. The only prize. And honestly? It makes the Nobel Prize look like something you get in a cereal box...

Embolism now, please. America is waiting.

Not really, since you'd go to fucking Club Fed and live like a goddam king in there.

I'll be happy if you get the death penalty in a court of law as a result of your treason against the US Constitution and your oath of office. I'll be happy if you have a massive fatal embolism during one of your insane and unhinged tirades.

I will be happy when you're in your grave through no help of any but legal channels or your own poor health choices. This is not a threat. This is a prayer. Please, God, prove you exist, strike down this blaspemous, hateful, cum guzzling, son of a whore QUICKLY! Stop his heart with extreme prejudice. Make it painful, make it hurt, make him SUFFER.

Either that, or I will be happy when you lose absolutely everything and are living in a single room occupancy coakroach infested hell down by the fucking docks, subsisting on top ramen and tap water until you die, alone, forgotten, unloved, and unnoticed until your corpse stench informs the nation that its nightmare is finally completely over.

My health is incredibly poor, and right now, my only goal in life is to keep my heart beating and my lungs pumping for 24 hours AFTER your shit stops, you motherfucking slimy, cocksucking, ball nibbling, dog fucking, cat shit eating bastard.

Why? Because I HATE you! M O U S E.