Showing posts with label Health. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Health. Show all posts

Saturday, February 21, 2026

Who has time to be bored? Not me!



Today was not really an art day. I diddled around with the Gimp for about an hour, then my writing muse slapped me upside my head. I have written six articles for my blog today about all kinds of things:

  • Impeaching Trump 
  • Chicago and Music being in my bones
  • A bit about a portmanteued proverb I love 
  • One about nicotine addiction
  • One about god, or the idea of god, or whatever
  • And this one, which only kind of counts

It was a productive day.

I really am an eclectic freak. Playing uke and recorder, doing digital art and zentangle and making jewelry, and writing from my gut. Between all that, I talk to people, make new friends, share a gazillion memes, play computer games, and more. And when I go to bed, I read for at least an hour before turning out the light.

I don't have time to be bored. Considering that I'm basically housebound and can't really leave my bedroom due to the difficulty involved in hauling my carcass from room to room, my life is incredibly rich and full.

I am a very fortunate old crone.

Friday, February 20, 2026

The Cravings Never Really End

Nicotine Is Insidious.

I just spent five stupid minutes going full tornado, ripping through my desk like I was searching for state secrets. Lifting papers, opening drawers, rifling like a woman possessed.

Looking for my fucking cigarettes.

My cigarettes.

I quit smoking two years and five weeks ago.  
There is no nicotine in this house.  
There has not been for a long damn time.

And yet my brain still tried to run the old script:  
"Quick! Check under that pile of junk mail! Maybe Past You stashed a pack for Future You, like some deranged nicotine Easter Bunny!"

D'OH.

Nicotine is a sneaky little bastard. It shows up at the weirdest moments, taps you on the shoulder, and whispers, "Hey... remember how good we were together?" 

And I swear, for about ten seconds, or ten minutes depending on how stressed I am, I would absolutely throw hands for a smoke.

But here is the thing:  
I am not losing this fight.  
Not today, not ever.
Never fucking EVER!

Cigarettes are banned from this house like cursed artifacts. My brother, who still smokes, has to keep his pack in the car and trek a hundred feet to the designated exile chair. That is the rule. That is the boundary. That is how I keep myself safe.

I am stealing a line from my friend and webqueen, Maggie:  
I am not an ex smoker.  
I am a smoker in recovery.

And recovery is a permanent condition, but so is my stubbornness.

Nicotine can try me, but it is not getting back in. Fuck that.

Thursday, February 19, 2026

FUCK Cancer! Fuck It In The EAR! I’m DONE Watching This Monster Hurt People I Love



Cancer is the one motherfucker that never clocks out. It doesn’t care how good you are, how careful you’ve been, how much you’ve already survived. It just shows up like a goddam wrecking ball and dares you to pretend this is normal. I’m fucking sick of it. I’m sick of watching people I love get blindsided by a piece of shit disease that feels like it’s everywhere, all the time, creeping into every family like some kind of outrageous cosmic joke.

We talk about cancer like it’s a statistic, like it’s a chart, like it’s a ribbon color. But when it hits your circle, it’s not a number, it’s a gut punch. It’s fear. It’s rage. It’s the helplessness of knowing that even with all our medical advances of the last motherfucking century, all our research, all our awareness campaigns, this thing still keeps taking swings at the people who deserve it the least.

And I’m tired. Tired of pretending to be calm. Tired of acting like this is just part of life. Tired of watching strong, brilliant, irreplaceable people get dragged into a fight they never fucking asked for...

Saturday, February 14, 2026

Autism Test

I took a detailed online autism test at https://personality.co/, though I HAVE been officially diagnosed by my shrink. Here's my results. They're interesting:

Very High Autism Traits

This score suggests that you exhibit very high traits associated with autism, which likely have a strong and consistent impact on your daily life. Individuals in this range often experience significant challenges in social interactions, sensory processing, and adapting to change, but also possess highly specialized skills, intense focus, and strong pattern recognition abilities. You may find that certain environments feel overwhelming, that social communication requires conscious effort, or that routine and predictability are essential to your well-being. While these traits may present difficulties, they also offer unique strengths—many people with very high autism traits excel in areas requiring logic, precision, and deep analytical thinking. By recognizing your needs, preferences, and strengths, you can create a life that accommodates your challenges while emphasizing your natural talents.

Self Awareness:

Understanding Your Score

Your score suggests that autism-related characteristics strongly influence how you think, feel, and interact with the world. You may:

  • Struggle significantly with social interactions, requiring direct communication and clear expectations.

  • Rely heavily on routine and predictability, finding change or unexpected situations very stressful.

  • Experience heightened sensory sensitivities, with strong reactions to noise, light, textures, or certain environments.

  • Have intense, specialized interests, often dedicating large amounts of time to specific topics.

Understanding these traits allows you to develop strategies that reduce discomfort while maximizing your abilities.

Your Social Perception

Social situations may feel challenging, confusing, or overwhelming. You may:

  • Struggle with nonverbal communication, including body language, eye contact, and tone of voice.

  • Prefer structured conversations where expectations and topics are clearly defined.

  • Find social norms difficult to understand, leading to misunderstandings.

  • Avoid certain social situations due to sensory overload or difficulty processing interactions.

Because of this, you may feel more comfortable engaging with others in controlled settings, online interactions, or one-on-one discussions about shared interests.

Your Cognitive Flexibility

You likely rely on structure, patterns, and familiarity to feel comfortable in daily life. You may:

  • Need strict routines to feel grounded, becoming distressed if they are disrupted.

  • Find multitasking or sudden changes very challenging, requiring extra time to process transitions.

  • Struggle with ambiguity, preferring clear, black-and-white rules.

  • Excel in areas where precision and consistency are required, such as technical fields, research, or logic-based problem-solving.

While change can be difficult, creating structured coping strategies can help make transitions more manageable.

Conclusion

Your score in the Very High Autism Traits range suggests that autism-related characteristics strongly shape your experiences, influencing social interactions, sensory processing, and cognitive preferences. While challenges may be present, you also possess valuable strengths such as deep focus, logical reasoning, and strong pattern recognition. By understanding what environments, routines, and communication styles work best for you, you can build a fulfilling life that embraces both your needs and your talents

Emotional Intelligence:

Your Empathy and Social Understanding

Your experience of emotions may differ from neurotypical individuals. You likely:

  • Experience emotions deeply but struggle to express them in conventional ways.

  • Have a strong sense of justice and fairness, valuing honesty above social expectations.

  • Find it difficult to interpret others’ emotions unless they are clearly stated.

  • Prefer logical discussions over emotionally-driven conversations.

While your way of processing emotions may be different, it does not mean you lack empathy—it simply means you express and interpret emotions uniquely.

Your Comfort in Social Situations

Social settings may feel mentally and emotionally draining, making structured interactions preferable. You may:

  • Struggle to follow group conversations, especially when multiple people are speaking.

  • Prefer nonverbal or text-based communication to reduce processing demands.

  • Feel isolated or misunderstood, even in social settings where you want to connect.

  • Need recovery time after social interactions, as they may feel exhausting.

By identifying communication styles that work best for you, you can create meaningful relationships while minimizing social fatigue.

Interpersonal skills:

Your Interpersonal Relationships

You likely value deep and meaningful connections, even if forming relationships is challenging. You may:

  • Have a small but trusted circle of friends rather than a wide social network.

  • Prefer relationships based on shared interests rather than emotional bonding alone.

  • Struggle with reading between the lines, needing direct and clear communication.

  • Have difficulty recognizing unspoken expectations, sometimes leading to misunderstandings.

Despite these challenges, you are likely a loyal and devoted friend, partner, or family member, especially when others understand and respect your communication preferences.

Leadership Qualities:

Your Professional Life

Your strengths may align with specialized, technical, or highly structured careers. You likely:

  • Excel in areas requiring deep concentration, logic, and precision.

  • Prefer independent work or working in small, familiar teams.

  • Need clear expectations, guidelines, and structure to perform at your best.

  • Find social aspects of work (meetings, networking) challenging but manageable with preparation.

These traits make you highly suited for careers that emphasize expertise and structured problem-solving.

Your Handling of Power and Authority

In leadership or work environments, you may:

  • Prefer roles where expertise is valued over social influence.

  • Struggle with office politics but excel in structured decision-making.

  • Need clarity in expectations and responsibilities to feel comfortable in leadership roles.

  • Lead through precision, organization, and technical skills rather than charisma.

By focusing on clear communication and structured professional environments, you can find leadership styles that align with your strengths.


Problem Solving:

Your Decision-Making and Problem-Solving Skills

You likely approach problems methodically and with intense focus. You may:

  • Prefer solving logical, fact-based problems over abstract or emotional ones.

  • Take extra time to analyze all possible outcomes before making a decision.

  • Excel in recognizing patterns and details that others might miss.

  • Struggle with uncertainty or rapid decision-making in unpredictable situations.

These problem-solving skills make you a valuable asset in fields requiring deep analysis, strategy, and structured thinking.

Your Communication Style

Your communication is likely direct, logical, and detailed, which can be an asset in some settings but challenging in others. You may:

  • Prefer factual, straightforward discussions over small talk or vague conversations.

  • Struggle with implied meanings, sarcasm, or indirect language.

  • Find it easier to express thoughts in writing rather than verbally.

  • Prefer highly structured conversations rather than spontaneous interactions.

These traits make you an effective communicator in structured, detail-oriented settings but may require adjustments in social or professional environments where ambiguity is common.