Welcome to Trumpland USA

If there were a chance it would be published, I would send this letter to the New York Times, the Christian Science Monitor, the WaPo, and every other major paper. But it would not be published.

To the Editor,

I am looking at the absolute state of this country, and I want to know when the hell people are going to wake up to what that orange fool is doing in the White House. This lunatic is literally building a bunker inside the fucking ballroom, and the spineless bastards around him are just letting it happen. 

Mean Girls, You've Got To Be Kind!

I was at Walmart one day and there was a guy sitting on a bench at the front near the registers. He was very obviously profoundly developmentally disabled, completely in his own world, and just having an absolute blast. I can't remember exactly what he was doing, but he was making a fair bit of noise, maybe listening to music because he was singing and chair dancing right there. 

Then these three teenage girls walked by. They were about 16, really pretty, fashionably dressed, the total cheerleader popular mean girl types. They noticed him and immediately started laughing and pointing, mimicking him and just being incredibly mean about it. 

The Windy City and Me

The roots of Chicago stay with you, no matter how many miles or years pile up. For me, that footprint started when I was eleven years old, living for four unforgettable months on South Kedzie Avenue with my Gramma Mary. Down on the Southwest Side, near Gage Park and Chicago Lawn, the city had a distinct, working-class grit. At eleven, that stretch of Kedzie was my entire universe. It was a world of brick two-flats, corner stores, and the constant, lively hum of the neighborhood. It was an eye-opening introduction to the real heart of the city. 

Years later, I returned to Chicago as an adult, but this time, the city showed us a completely different side of its character. 

Root and Branch: A Union of Faith and Tradition

According to Judaism, non-Jews are expected to follow the Seven Laws of Noah (often called the Noahide Laws).

Jewish tradition teaches that these are ancient, universal moral commandments given by God to Noah and his family after the flood, making them binding for all of humanity.

Here is the list of the seven laws:

1) Do not worship idols: Believe in the one true God and do not pray to statues or false deities. (When I'm in a belief phase, I am a Catholic. I do not PRAY to statues, but I DO talk to them. And even as an atheist I talk to my statue of the Blessed Virgin Mother.)

2) Do not blaspheme: Do not curse God or use His name profanely. (I am working on that because a few of my friends absolutely wince when I say God Damn It.)

3) Do not commit murder: Respect the value of human life. (And any rabbi will tell you: The most important thing to know about Jewish law is that a fetus is not considered a full legal person until the moment of birth. Because of this, Jewish law actually mandates abortion if the pregnancy poses a threat to your physical or mental life. The life of the person carrying the pregnancy always takes absolute priority. So abortion is not murder.)

4) Do not commit sexual immorality: Practice moral sexual behavior, which traditionally prohibits acts like adultery and incest. (I would say that it's not adultery if everybody involved consents to such things as polyamory or even swinging, only when it's secret and sly.)

5) Do not steal: Do not take what belongs to others, whether through theft, fraud, or kidnapping. (This one really needs no commentary!)

6) Do not eat meat torn from a living animal: Practice humanity toward animals, which means not causing them unnecessary cruelty or eating flesh taken from an animal while it is still alive. (I like this one, because it teaches to be kind with creatures.)

7) Establish courts of justice: Set up a fair legal system and government to enforce these laws and ensure a just society. (Wish this one worked these days, but holy COW are SCOTUS and other courts a disaster. They've all been packed by the Orange Atrocity and are destroying the Constitution.)

In my opinion these are the most sensible rules I've ever heard, though I'm not sure about the God stuff, since I'm in a non-believing phase in my life. However, I am starting to lean back toward Catholicism. 

I make this promise now:

If I DO end up in a belief phase again (my faith flows and ebbs, and I just ride with it) I swear, will not shove Jesus down your throats. I will occasionally mention things like if I ever get confirmed or if I make a rosary or have a profound thought. But I won't do daily religion.

A Catholic who follows Jewish Law for Gentiles. Interesting. And reasonable. There is room for both. 

Timothy Busfield and Being A Predator

This may or may not be an unpopular opinion.

But I believed Timothy Busfield at first. I don't know why, I just did.

Then more and more allegations came out. And we all know predation is a pattern of behavior, it's not generally a one-time thing, and he is KNOWN to have settled at least one accusation case for an undisclosed amount.

The only weird thing is that the other accusers were all women, all close to or over than 18. These new ones are twin boys, who were apparently age seven at the beginning. 

I am not going to convict anybody without hearing all the evidence, but it sure doesn't look good.

I feel awful for his poor heartbroken wife.  But if the evidence proves he did it, he needs to go to prison.

Pocket-Sized Masterpieces: The Joy of ATCs

There is a quiet magic in creating something beautiful with your own two hands, but there is an even greater joy in sending that piece of your heart out into the world to make a brand-new friend. This is the beautiful essence of Artist Trading Cards. These miniature works of art, affectionately called ATCs, carry a delightful tradition where the only strict rule is their size; every single card must be exactly 2 ½ by 3 ½ inches, which is the precise size of a standard baseball card.

Within those tiny dimensions, the creative possibilities are absolutely endless. You can use any medium your heart desires, whether that means drawing intricate patterns with white gel pens on dark paper, blending watercolors, or layering bits of vintage paper and ephemera for a beautiful collage. Because they are so small, there is no pressure to create a massive masterpiece; instead, you get to experiment with colors and textures, making each little card a unique expression of your imagination.

Finding My Lines: How a Week of Drawing Made Me Feel Alive

The dolphin on left was drawn on my first day, last Monday. The one on right was drawn on my sixth day. Daily practice is wonderful.

It is a weird, awesome feeling when your hands finally start catching up with your brain. At the beginning of the week, every time I put pen to paper, the lines came out looking completely gimpy. I'd have a perfect image in my head, but what actually ended up on the page looked shaky, lopsided, and just totally off. 

As regards Eminem's penis. From Facebook.

Austin Clifton

odsSntroep9 ya9143ccP410am7lMct :1M7h 5gcm40892 mifma4a457it ·

I'm curious about Eminem's penis. It may sound weird but hear me out when I say Something just doesn't line up with this man's junk. In 2000 on the Marshall Mathers LP on the track "Bitch Please I!" he opens his verse with "Aww, naww, big Slim Dogg. Eighty pound balls, dick six inch long". So we establish in the year 2000 his dick is six inches and his balls are 80 pounds. In the year 2018 though, on Kamikaze he says "Wait, got the eeriest feelin', somethin' evil is lurkin' I'm no conspiracy theorist but somethin' here is a foot. Oh yeah, it's my dick" so now we know his dick is a foot. So in 18 years his dick has doubled in size. Here's where it gets weird. On his song "Big Weenie" in 2004 off of his album

"Encore" he states "my weenie is much bigger than yours.

Mine is like stickin' a banana between two oranges" the average size of a banana is around 7.5 inches. Meaning yes it grows. Now we've confirmed that it grew gradually and not instantly. What raises my concern about SlimShadys genitals is his balls. The average weight of an apple is.33 pounds. So two balls relative to apples would be .77 pounds. In just 4 years Eminems balls shrunk to about 0.83% of the original weight but in 18 years his penis doubled in size. Growth and loss of weight aside, its so irregular can't help but ask

"what is wrong with Eminems Balls?"

Simon Tonkin said:

Your research is incomplete and therefore your conclusions are in need of adjustment. In the song "as the world turns" in the Marshal Mathers LP he describes his penis as being able to "...hit the ground and ain't no doubt about it. It caused an earthquake and a power outage."

Eminem is around 5'8'' tall. That puts his penis and balls at a height of around 3'5'' ish give it take from the ground. In order for his Penis to cause an Earthquake when flopped from such a height, it would need a staggering mass of around 146,000,000 metric tons in order to generate a noticable earthquake of around 3.0.

Such mass and implied length suggests a gigantic differencen between Eminem's penis in that song compared to those depicted in his later works.

This leads us to only one logical and proper conclusion. Eminem is actually an insect of a family closely related to the Papilionoformes. His schlong has undergone several biological metamorphosis, not unlike that of an actual butterfly as it assumes form after form after form. Every few years his penis retracts into its silky cocoon, emerging in time for the next album release a new vision of itself. Truly one of the wonders of the natural world and a marvel.

Big Yellow Taxi of Life

I have no life, am bedridden by chronic illness and mobility impairment, so I have all the time in the world to read and do my hobbies.

But, I miss being busy

"Don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you've got til its gone?" Man, if I'd known how much i would miss those insanely busy days!

I used to wish i could stay in bed all day. the reality is, doing that sucks. It's insanely boring and repetitive, each day is the same as the one before, the only differences are what you're reading, what you're watching, which hobby you're engaging in.

I'm glad to be alive, though.

8647 For Fuck's Sake!

 

The man:

• Wants to be on a US stamp.
• Wants to replace FDR on the dime.
• Wants a Triumphal Arch overlooking Arlington Cemetery.
• Wants a Nobel Peace Prize
• Wants the reflecting pool to be country club pool blue 
• Wants a fucking ballroom
• Wants to suck Putin's cock.
• Has added himself to our passports
• Is on a 24K plated commemrative coin that the US mint sells for approx$50.
• Has his cabinet praise him one person at a time before meetings
• Persecutes (and prosecutes) his political enemies
• The Kennedy Center. 'Nuff said.
• Considers himself on a par with Jesus H Crucified Christ
• He illegally invaded a sovereign nation and kidnapped its president
• Wants to pave Palestine and turn it into a fucking casino or summat

He spends most of his time bitching and griping about these non-issues, like a toddler throwing a tantrum to get what it wants. Meanwhile, there's a war, there's a big blockade, there's no affordable gas, soon there will be no gas at all, and then the food and other commodity shortages start. 

He's more interested in his orange face being on a stamp than in pulling our troops out of Iran or any real issue on this planet and in this country.

He needs to go.

8647 - 25th Amendment NOW! Congress used to have balls. Now it's a bunch of fucking sycophants groveling at his feet and licking his smegma laden uncircumcised schlong and not doing its job. Grow a new set, assholes. 

Come and get me for saying 8647. Here's a fucking history lesson for you:

"The term "86" originated in the 1920s-1930s as American restaurant and soda jerk slang for running out of an item, likely evolving as rhyming slang for "nix". It expanded to mean kicking out customers or refusing service, with popular, though unverified, theories linking it to [Chumley’s Speakeasy] at 86 Bedford St. or Prohibition-era police tactics. [1, 2, 3, 4, 5]

Most Likely Origins:

• Soda Jerk/Diner Code: In the 1930s, staff used numerical codes (e.g., 81 was water). "86" meant an item was sold out.
• Rhyming Slang: It is often considered a direct, witty rhyme for "nix" (to cancel or reject). [1, 2, 3]

Common Origin Myths & Theories:

• Chumley’s Speakeasy: Located at 86 Bedford St. in New York, police would allegedly tell the bartender to "86" patrons out the back door before a raid.
• Prohibition Era: Bartenders would serve a rowdy customer 86-proof liquor to get them drunk faster so they would leave.
• Supplies/Space: Early diners only held 85 items, or in soup kitchens, the 86th person got nothing.
• Military Code: Reference to the F-86 fighter jet shooting down an enemy, or Article 86 (AWOL) of the Uniform Code of Military Justice. [1, 2]

Today, it is commonly used in hospitality to mean an item is gone, or that a customer is no longer allowed on the premises. [1]" (History.Com and Wikipedia)

NOWHERE does it mention it as a term for icing somebody. Nowhere.

When somebody is egomaniacal and utterly fucking deranged, he sues everybody who so much as looks at him strangely. He orders his subordinates to investigate and prosecute his enemies as a revenge tactic for having the sheer effontery to stand against him.And when somebody is delusional and incredibly stupid, he tilts at windmills and sits around on his ass.

86 fucking 47. The world cannot wait. World War 3 is starting, because of his insane policies. There is unrest here at home, and a growing global disgust for the US due to Donald Trump's hubris. 

He has got to be stopped by any LEGAL means necessary. While he's #2 on my Dead Pool List, I do not advocate violence against anybody.25th Amendment, Impeachment and Conviction, something else non-violent and legal, but it's got to stop. It's really got to stop. 

I cannot believe that there are people in this country, a LOT of people, who think he's the best thing that ever happened to the US and the world. Who believe every word out of his mouth. Who consider all liberals to be traitors to the US. Who cannot see that this man embodies the biblical description of the Antichrist they believe in.  That he is craven, childish, and creepy. He is a danger to the entire planet and he has control of "the football".

Get me the fuck out of here and 8647. Last week.