Steven Livingston Seagull

Steven Seagull, master of Bullshito, is my target of choice for mockery today. Buckle up, it's gonna be wild!...

From an interview in the 90s:

“You can say that I lived in Asia for a long time and in Japan I became close to several CIA agents,” Seagal told the Los Angeles Times in 1988. “And you could say that I became an adviser to several CIA agents in the field and, through my friends in the CIA, met many powerful people and did special works and special favors.” (The CIA, being the CIA, neither confirms nor denies such claims, no matter who they’re coming from.)

Now, notice his wording. "You can say. You could say."

Never: "This happened, I did this."

So he's not outright lying, really. He's just saying an interviewer can say these things, regardless of veracity.

"You could say I sucked an elephant's cock and guzzled its jizz like it was warm milk at bedtime."

SNL considers him to be the worst host they ever had. He verbally abused the cast and writers in the week he was there, and every skit he was in fell flat because he kept just... being his asshole self. It takes real non-talent to make Chris Farley's jokes fail to land.

Is there no beginning to this man's talent?

In this next video, Hollywood's Biggest Asshole demonstrates... how to avoid a handshake from two skinny little runts?

So obviously (and badly) choreographed. If Lorne Michaels had shown THIS on the SNL that Seagull hosted, there would have been ONE segment of that disastrous episode that scored a laugh, anyways.

I don't know about you, but my opinion is that this man has a very inflated opinion of himself and his talents and abilities.

In addition, he has been accused of rape by two women, and of demanding sex in exchange for roles in his movies, and all kinds of questionable behavior with women.

In closing, I leave you this:

In a letter to Putin, actor Steven Seagal has asked to be sent to the front lines of Russia's Special Military Operation. He wrote that he is "ready to die for his president".