Today in stupid customer tricks:
This belongs in the Retail Trauma Hall of Fame, right next to “I microwaved my loyalty card and now it won’t scan.”
My friend Lisa works retail on the West Coast.
Today on Facebook, Lisa told me that a woman came into her store to complain about a candle she had purchased.
It seems the candle had melted lopsided, and the customer was displeased.
The candle was a four wick candle, and she was only using ONE wick, and expected it to burn down evenly.
This interaction is a masterclass in customer logic failure; one wick lit, three untouched, and she wanted a wax ballet of perfect symmetry like she was summoning the spirit of fucking Euclid.
That is peak Monday. One wick out of four, and she expected symmetrical candle physics like she ordered from NASA. I can practically hear Lisa’s soul leaving her body through the register drawer. As if wax obeys somebody's personal fucking geometry.
I'm sure my friend's face was a cross between stunned disbelief, "are you serious???" and "how fucking stupid are you?"
As Lisa said, it's too fucking Monday for this level of stupid.
Lisa deserves hazard pay, a commemorative mug that says “I survived Wickgate,” and a flame-retardant sarcasm shield. Honestly, the only thing melting faster than that candle is her ability to maintain a professional demeanor in the face of epic fucking idiocy!
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