Hate, and other weird shit

Up front warning, I'm kinda loopy on sleeping pills as I write this, so it sort of wanders... I have learned more about how to be hateful from "Good, Church Going, Born Again Christian Conservatives" than I have learned from absolutely everybody I've ever met, every book I've ever read, every Heavy Metal song I've ever listened to.. yadda yadda yadda, in my 60 years on this planet.

I've seen less hate and vitriol spewed out by ALL of the people and ideas in my life I have ever encountered, than I witnessed among the maybe 159 regular churchgoers on a real good Sunday in our small Texas church my family and I attended for ten years. It was disgusting.

And all these Conservative politicians who claim to be faithful Christians. Including the Fascist in Chief.

And their hate trickles down to the masses via Fox News hosts calling for the state sanctioned murder of mentally ill people and the homeless, via Truth social posts, via the fucking grapevine, and now in my part of Texas, liberals keep their heads down, don't wear campaign buttons or have liberal slogan bumper stickers, and don't talk politics outside of our homes. It's insane.

And what's even more insane? What really bothers me? Their hate is contagious. Yep, trickles down, right?

It also trickles SIDEWAYS*.

A lot of us (me included) the Good Guys, if you will. Liberals who love to think. Liberals who CARE, are learning to hate just as viciously. We used to laugh at them. Now we're PISSED at them. A bunch of us are getting fired up against THEM.

Last time this happened, it was about the right to own black people.

This time, it will be about human decency.

But I come away from this with two main thoughts:

I wish I had not lived long enough to see it coming, RIGHT on the horizon, in distant view now and speeding closer, but I have lived that long, and I'm pretty sure I'll still be here when it lands completely, which day is speedily approaching. Here I am.

And Jeebus Crisco, I hope we burn them all. Every last one of them. Trump calls his "enemies" vermin. I call them vermin.

I hate them all. And that really disturbs me.

In my life I have had one person I truly hate, my abusive stepmother. I still hope to spit on her grave one day. Nothing ever upset me so much as her, so I never hated anybody else, and since I've hated her since I was 5 years old, I damn well forgot how to learn.

But watching MAGA and this whole mess slowly creep into the entire nation's ability to think at all clearly, I've learned. Oh how I have learned. Now I hate millions of people, the frighteningly vast percentage of which I will never lay eyes on. And that's just here in Texas. Multiply it by the nation, then the world, because crazy as it seems, he has some admirers out there, too.

I hate that they've taught me to hate. And yes, I know how stupid that sounds. And I fully expect that some fucking loony ass Conservative Loving Christian Patriot will see this post and blacklist me on some crazy site, and try to get my SSI shut off because I'm a horrible American who dares speak truth to power. Well, fuck you, whichever one(s) of you get going on that. Fuck you, fuck your grandmother, and fuck your President, too. I'll always find a new platform, and like my Grandmother, Irene, always used to say: "It takes a bullet to kill our family." I would add that it takes a fucking bullet to shut us up, too. My Great Grampy Woody did not raise a big brood of wallflowers. He raised Boston kids. And he did it well. My grandmother and her siblings were not afraid to speak their minds. Almost all of the offspring of that generation are talkative, opinionated, and no shy about it. And that has passed down through my Mother's generation, my generation, and that of my daughters and granddaughters. We of the Woodward clan never shut up. You have to shoot us to silent us. Especially the women. I'm not afraid. The door isn't even locked. Should I ever need to lay down my fucking useless life in the face of tyranny, I'll do it. I don't have the conceit to think I really will get arrested for my blog with its 70 or so readers, But if they did, so be it. My fucking back aches, I could seriously use the eternal oblivion. I am not the sort to just back down. It's not in my blood. I'm a Woodward girl.