A perfect afterlife for scummy people

I do not believe in heaven or hell or reincarnation. A friend on Facebook who is a Jew was wishing that Judaism had the concept of hell, so that people like Charlie Kirk or Donald Fucking Trump would face eternity in it for the harm they did in life.

Somebody commented that it would be better if they were reincarnated as good people who knew right from wrong and used that knowledge to better the world.

If it were possible, I would far rather they were reincarnated as mosquitos and were splatted for about 150 lifetimes, then they can come back as a cockroach, splat. Then a rat, and all kinds of vermin like fleas and head lice and pubic lice and killed over and over again. (This is your cue to click the read more link!)..

Do you need my kidney?

I have several best friends. These are the women and men that I am absolutely closest to and would swim nekkid with...

Not Bob, the cat who thinks he's a dog

 

This orange jerk has abandoned me. He used to sleep on my pillow every night. Then my best friend Patti moved in, and Not Bob was all "OMG I WUBS HER!"...

Ollie the Wonder Dog

 

I would like to tell you about my second dog, Ollie.

We got Ollie in 1971, when I was 7 years old. (I am sixty now, not that that is relevant). He was an 8 month old St Bernard/Old English Sheepdog mix, white and charcoal grey, and just gorgeous...

It can't happen here, right?

 

Dementia Don Strikes Again!

Dementia Don, speaking to the Navy. He's so fucking brain damaged. Click the read more to see this shit in its full glory. This senile old fuck has the nuclear codes, folks!

Pain Free! Suck it!

Three nights of rock solid sleep.

Two ibuprofen. Two tylenol. One teaspoon of Kratom mixed in 1/4 cup chocolate milk. Compression gloves and wrist braces. This all adds up to GOOD sleep!

I wake up pain free, too, which has not happened in years...

Oh MAN this song KICKS!

 

Ban books, ban guns, ban apps and television 

Ban protest, ban sex and ban religion 

Ban drugs, ban love, ban being alive 

Ban them if they look at you a way you don’t like

My Vegemite Initiation

I wrote this many MANY years ago about the sticky black salty ambrosia called Vegemite. I reproduce it here for your enjoyment. Brace yourself, it's gonna get weird!...

More on Vegemite, just because!

I fucking LOVE Vegemite.

It's thick, viscous, salty, and kind of musty tasting, and it positively REEKS of yeast. You do not GROW to like it, you either do or you don't. There is positively no middle ground. You love it or you despise it. Period. Nobody has EVER said, "Well, when it comes to Vegemite, I can take it or leave it!"...