Look. Infamously, crazy fucks say Jews eat babies. This is a major lie, and everybody with a brain cell knows it. The REAL baby eaters are the atheists. They eat babies starting in the embryonic and fetal stages all the way through toddler stage.
As a baby eating atheist myself, I'd like you all to know my favorite baby meals. I am particularly fond of:
- Baby Burgers: Nice ground baby on a bun.
- Toddler T Bone: The tenderest steak I've ever had.
- Baby Ganoush: Baba ganoush, but with grilled mashed baby instead of eggplant.
- Baby Pot Pie: Like chicken pot pie, but with baby.
- Baby Bourguignon: Substitute Baby for beef and yum!
- Baby Wellington: Gordon Ramsay taught me this recipe.
- Baby Lo Mein: Forget cow, baby is the BEST meat!
- Buffalo Baby Feet: Throw away the chicken wings, try baby feet!
- Toddler meatloaf: Once you try it, you'll never go back!
- Fetus Fajitas: Don't forget the guacamole!
- Embryonic Empanadas: A classic Spanish favorite
- Fetus Fettuccine: For when you want that refined, Italian touch.
- Toddler Tacos: Street-style, obviously; don't skimp on the cilantro.
- Baby Brisket: For Texans! Low and slow for eighteen hours.
- Nursery Nuggets: The ultimate finger food for the atheist on the go.
- Crib Casserole: A midwestern classic, topped with crushed crackers.
So next time you hear somebody accusing Jews of having a weirdly unKosher diet, tell them about me and my brother and sister atheists.
Most of us are quite proud of our recipes, and willing to share!
Yum
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