Baby: The Other White Meat, OR Forget the Blood Libel; We’ve Got Baby Brisket

Look. Infamously, crazy fucks say Jews eat babies. This is a major lie, and everybody with a brain cell knows it. The REAL baby eaters are the atheists. They eat babies starting in the embryonic and fetal stages all the way through toddler stage.

As a baby eating atheist myself, I'd like you all to know my favorite baby meals. I am particularly fond of:

• Baby Burgers: Nice ground baby on a bun.
• Toddler T Bone: The tenderest steak I've ever had.
• Baby Ganoush: Baba ganoush, but with grilled mashed baby instead of eggplant.
• Baby Pot Pie: Like chicken pot pie, but with baby.
• Baby Bourguignon: Substitute Baby for beef and yum!
• Baby Wellington: Gordon Ramsay taught me this recipe.
• Baby Lo Mein: Forget cow, baby is the BEST meat!
• Buffalo Baby Feet: Throw away the chicken wings, try baby feet!
• Toddler meatloaf: Once you try it, you'll never go back!
• Fetus Fajitas: Don't forget the guacamole!
• Embryonic Empanadas: A classic Spanish favorite
• Fetus Fettuccine: For when you want that refined, Italian touch. 
• Toddler Tacos: Street-style, obviously; don't skimp on the cilantro. 
• Baby Brisket: For Texans! Low and slow for eighteen hours. 
• Nursery Nuggets: The ultimate finger food for the atheist on the go. 
• Crib Casserole: A midwestern classic, topped with crushed crackers.

So next time you hear somebody accusing Jews of having a weirdly unKosher diet, tell them about me and my brother and sister atheists.

Most of us are quite proud of our recipes, and willing to share!