This post holds a lot of poems I wrote back in the 80s and 90s, in no particular order. Enjoy!
Days of Our Lives
Like sands through an hourglass
these then, are the days of our lives
soap operas spinning out webs of entanglement
love found, love lost, love pined after and plotted for
love regained if one is very lucky
as some people always seem to be.
But most of us are not lucky.
Most of us live our lives on the outside
not daring to dart in to the hub
knowing that only rejection waits in there.
So some of us sit here on the outside
looking through a thick window covered with wire mesh
always hoping, always watching, always waiting
and in the end we hope, watch, wait in vain
and ask ourselves, "What then, is the fucking POINT???"
as we slowly reach for the remote control
and change the channel
because, after all
we only have one life to live.
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Dragon Rain
Watching all the dragon rain
comes darting down like fire from heaven
rivers down the garden drain
warps the wood and drowns the flowers
it makes me think of years ago
when as a child i heard the highway
listened to the wheels a humming
down the blacktop soaked with showers
The faces i've worn and the songs i have sung
not one has ever been my own
and i'm feeling old though still i'm young
the scenery hasn't changed in all this time
the motors still send up a dreary drone
the beacons flash from towers on the hill
i sit, and take the time to be alone
Rocking in a metal chair
i wonder if i'll find a future
i struggle in the heavy air
to think myself to dream again
breaking off these past few years
and all their shades that had me blinded
soon i'll hear Sweet Freedom's voice
come singin' in the Dragon Rain
The faces are worn out and the songs are only memories
so i'll find my own smooth chord change
to voice the words within me
the scenery hasn't now nor will it change
the young girl's dreams are once again alive
the rain may flood the flowers for a while
But like the roots, i'll drink my fill and thrive
Watching all the dragon rain
the lamplit drops explode and die
despite the chill will i remain
to watch them falling from the sky.
September, 1981 (Age 17)
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I'll see you in my dreams
when the night covers me
and the stars shine in the sky
and I will yearn for your touch
on my breast
and your lips against mine.
And when at night
you too, are unable to sleep
perhaps you will think of me
and across an ocean
on the other side of the world
your thoughts will caress me
like a warm summer breeze.
_____________________________________________________
She sits alone in a darkened room
walled off from the world and its woes
the only light a strange glow
from the screen before her
which is filled with a jumble of
Letters Words Punctuation.
Seeking, searching, questing
another soul to merge with
on a human level
within the mind
and finding many in need of a friend
just as she is.
A world filled with lonely people
each clinging to a keyboard
crying out for Someone! Anyone!
to reach out to them through the modem
and touch them if only for
a moment in time.
And some of the cries are answered
and some are never heard.
And she continues to sit
in her darkened room
reaching across the void of cyberspace
to her friends.
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Fantasy
Love is a fantasy
A dreamworld for those who need
an escape from the drab
day to day bullshit
of existence.
An imaginary state of mind
where you are a part of another person
and as valuable to them
as they are to you.
I have read more stories
of love everlasting
but none of them ever show
what happens ten years after
"They lived happily ever after"
I know what happens.
Ten years down the road
Prince Charming is out every night
tipping pints with his mates
and Cinderella is sitting
in a dark and shadowed corner.
She missed the ball.
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Long Ago And Far Away
Long ago and far away
I would watch you from the shadows
my heart filled with longing.
Waiting for a glance, a word, a whisper.
But it was oh so long ago
and oh so far away.
Once upon a time in a land a long distance from here
you wore armor, it gleamed in the sun
and I wore a simple homespun gown.
You carried a powerful sword
and I, a basket of eggs.
As I walked past you, you beckoned.
My heart leapt -
but you only wanted to see my wares.
You did not see me.
In the distant past, in a country that used to be
You sat in the heart of the city
trading tales with the other men
and I would pass you as I went to the well
averting my eyes modestly
so that you would not think me bold.
But how could you think a girl bold
whom you never even noticed?
A long time ago, and oh so very far away
I waited and I hoped
pining away
waiting for you to return.
Watching from my window with my heart shattering
as the other men came home
as the seasons passed
as the years faded
as I grew old and bent and grey
and with my last breath, spoke your name.
Somehow
the more things change,
the more they stay the same
and I feel as though I am living
In a time long ago
and a place so far away.
____________________________________________________
Sometimes I feel like less than nothing
not even a zero
not amounting to even so much
as a grain of sand or a speck of dust.
Sometimes i just need you to understand
that I am not seeking affirmation or agreement
that simply accepting is enough.
Sometimes I wish that I could crawl into a hole deep underground
and stay there safe
with you keeping the whole world away
Less than zero, more than most
We are the Universe
and I just need, just want, just hunger
to be in union with you.
And these times
when instead of moving in harmony
we jangle and clang like pots and pans
falling from a tall shelf
make me feel like less than zero.
They make me want to run
to scream out into the night for the world to hear
my weakness and insecurity
my self-doubt
my sure knowledge of my own worthlessness.
I am only whole when I am with you
When you envelope me in the safety and sanctity of your love
When you accept me and enable me to move forward
or backward, depending on my needs at the time.
And I am only happy
when I feel deep deep down in my soul
that you love me for me.
I thank the Gods
that I feel that way
almost all the time now.
____________________________________________________
Vibrance
When I sit back and remember
How we met, became friends
Became lovers, and together
We grew into something
So vibrant and colorful
So dynamic and electric
It just blows me away.
It rocks my soul
It sends my heart soaring
On eagle's wings into the sky.
Good times and Bad.
Sickness and Health.
No matter what it takes
I will stand by you
Forever.
______________________________________________________
Ships Pass
As yet another daygoes down to nightthe ship's sailsbillow, catchingthe dying raysof the sun.From the shorelineshe sits, watchinggazing, something is tornfrom her, a gaspa crythe sound of despairas the ship in its apathyfades into the nightcarelessly taking along a cargoof her hopes and dreams.
July 18, 1997
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StarsThere they are,
the hearthfires of the gods
burning in the velvet
of the night sky
the inky blackness
of the heavens rains
down on me
shrouding me in its
infinite serenity its
slowmoving inexorable march
across the vaulted ceiling
of olympus
and i am small
smaller than i want to believe
and humbled by
the vast reaches of
the infinite night
and the tiny sparkling fires
that stretch out
forever
into infinity.
Jenn Thomas, September 24, 1998
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Mountains
It's all in how we view it..
Beauty, or Obstacle?
Adventure, or Travail?
A beautiful obstacle.
An adventurous travail.
A journey into uncharted regions.
Oh yes. Glorious uncertainty at its finest.
Venturing outward, each step a risk
Will the ground crumble out
From beneath our feet?
Testing the earth carefully
learning its strengths
finding its weaknesses
Fighting down the urge to
rush ahead without
allowing the ground the time
to adjust to the new load
that it finds itself bearing.
The uncertainty and the risk
bring an excitement
a rollercoaster thrill
as each step is gained
or as we slip back a ways
only to find something we missed
something sparkling...
a diamond in the rough
or a rose, opening its petals
slowly, taking its time
testing the air and the soil
as it unfurls, petal by petal
opening itself to life
to beauty
to the magic and to the wonder
of it all.
July 1998
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Journey
But then I guessit's always been this way
the harder you look
the darker it gets
and when you're finally lost
THAT's when it finds you.
Somehow you never really
get anywhere at all.
But, if you're lucky
something might come to you
and when it does
Will you welcome it with open arms?
Or with CLENCHED FIST?
For me, it's easy.
When it rains, I pour.
When it shines, I'm bright.
And when daytime is over
I become the night.
September, 1981
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