PARODY SPEECH: "THE SMART PEOPLE PROBLEM"

 

PARODY SPEECH: "THE SMART PEOPLE PROBLEM"

Ladies and gentlemen, thank you, thank you. What a crowd. What a tremendous crowd. Probably the biggest crowd ever assembled to hear someone talk about how smart people don’t like them. And let me tell you, nobody gets disliked by smart people better than me. Nobody.

Now, I’ve always said, I love smart people. I do. I hire the best. I went to Wharton, which is like the Harvard of business schools, except better because I went there. But these so-called “intellectuals” - you know the type - glasses, tweed jackets, probably allergic to manual labor—they don’t like me. They don’t! And it’s very unfair. Very unfair.

They say, “Oh, Trump doesn’t read books.” Well guess what? I don’t need to read books. I write history. I make history. I am the book. If Lincoln had Twitter, he’d be tweeting like me. Believe me.

These smart people, they sit in their ivory towers, sipping lattes, using words like “nuance” and “epistemology.” I say, “What’s wrong with simple words? Like ‘great,’ ‘tremendous,’ ‘winning.’” Those are powerful words. Strong words. Words that built America.

And they say, “He’s not intellectually curious.” Folks, I’m curious. I’m very curious. I once asked if windmills cause cancer. That’s curiosity. That’s science. That’s leadership.

But here’s the truth: smart people don’t like me because I don’t play their little games. I don’t bow to the academic elite. I don’t use semicolons. I don’t pretend to like NPR. I like winners. I like gold. I like buildings with my name on them. And I like America.

So to all the smart people out there who don’t like me—I say this: you may have your degrees, your awards, your fancy vocabulary. But I’ve got something better. I’ve got the people. I’ve got the ratings. And I’ve got the best words.

Thank you. God bless you. And God bless the United States of Trump—I mean, America.

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Q&A SESSION

Q: Mr. Trump, why do you think intellectuals criticize your policies?

A: Because they’re jealous. They spent years getting degrees and I got elected. I win, they whine. It’s very simple.

Q: What do you say to scientists who dispute your claims?

A: I say, “Show me your ratings.” If you’re so smart, why aren’t you trending? I trust the people more than the lab coats.

Q: Do you believe in climate change?

A: I believe in air conditioning. I believe in golf weather. I believe in not freezing in winter. That’s my climate policy.

Q: What’s your message to college professors?

A: Get a real job. Build something. Open a casino. Write a book with pictures. Stop grading papers and start grading greatness.

Q: Are you anti-intellectual?

A: No! I’m pro-success. I’m pro-common sense. I’m pro-America. If that makes me anti-intellectual, then call me the Einstein of winning.

Meth is bad... mmkay?

 

Seriously. Put the fucking meth pipe down. That shit is really bad for people of all stripes, but especially people with issues.

Try heroin, instead. It's so soothing. 

This has been a public service announcement.

Boycott Disney: The Eternal Screech - From Gay Days to Jimmy Kimmel, a 34-year tantrum

 

And back to the important events of the era.

Affer losing $5 BILLION dollars since they shitcanned Jimmy Kimmel due to TRUE patriots and free speech advocates voting with their wallets, Disney/ABC is bringing him back to his regular time slot tonight. Fuck YEAH! Victory over fascism!

MAGA says that Jimmy absolutely slandered Kirk when he said:

“Thank you for joining us from Los Angeles, the second-largest city in our bitterly divided nation, where, like the rest of the country, we’re still trying to wrap our heads around the senseless murder of the popular podcaster and conservative activist Charlie Kirk yesterday, whose death has amplified our anger, our differences,” Kimmel said. “I’ve seen a lot of extraordinarily vile responses to this from both sides of the political spectrum. Some people are cheering this, which is something I won’t ever understand.”

“With all these terrible things happening, you would think that our president would at least make an attempt to bring us together, but he didn’t. President Obama did. President Biden did. Presidents Bush and Clinton did,” he said, while showing screenshots of former presidents’ social media statements. “President Trump did not. Instead, he blamed Democrats for their rhetoric.”

“We hit some new lows over the weekend with the MAGA gang desperately trying to characterize this kid who murdered Charlie Kirk as anything other than one of them, and doing everything they can to score political points from it.”

For this, they shitcanned him. For saying Kirk being killed was wrong, apparently. Because Jimmy does not slander Kirk in the entire monologue. He does, however, slam Trump.

“In between the finger-pointing, there was grieving on Friday,” he said. “The White House flew the flags at half-staff, which got some criticism, but on a human level, you can see how hard the President is taking this.”

At that point, a clip of Trump saying something along the lines of "Oh, I'm sad, but hey, look at the construction trucks over there!" when asked how he felt about Kirk's death

“I think very good, and by the way, right there you see all the trucks, they’ve just started construction of the new ballroom for the White House.”

As studio laughter faded, Kimmel joked about the president’s response:

“Yes, he’s at the fourth stage of grief: construction. This is not how an adult grieves the murder of someone he called a friend.”

So, there's the truth of it. Jimmy was sidelined, NOT for "slandering" Charlie Kirk, but for making fun of Old Yam Tits. That's the truth of the matter.

Now that Disney is bringing Kimmel back, MAGA are clamoring for a boycott. But FFS, they've been boycotting Disney since before there was a MAGA. I remember the Jesus shouter conservatives losing their fucking MINDS over Gay Days, which started in the 90s. The following list is from MS Copilot.

1991 – Gay Days at Disney World spark backlash

- Trigger: Unofficial LGBTQ+ gathering in red shirts

- Response: American Family Association and Southern Baptists accuse Disney of promoting homosexuality

- Outcome: Southern Baptist Convention launches formal boycott in 1997, ends in 2005

1990s–2000s – LGBTQ+ visibility in media

- Trigger: Ellen DeGeneres voicing Dory, Disney airing her sitcom, inclusion of gay characters

- Response: Boycotts over “moral decline” and abandonment of “family values”

2022 – Florida’s “Don’t Say Gay” law

- Trigger: Disney initially silent, then publicly opposes the law

- Response: Conservatives accuse Disney of political activism and indoctrination

- Outcome: Florida Governor Ron DeSantis targets Disney’s special tax district

2022–2023 – “Woke” content in films and parks

- Trigger: Black Ariel, LGBTQ+ characters in animated films, culturally updated rides

- Response: Boycotts and social media campaigns claiming Disney is “too political” or “anti-family”

2025 – Jimmy Kimmel suspension fallout

- Trigger: ABC (owned by Disney) suspends Jimmy Kimmel after controversial comments about Charlie Kirk’s shooting

- Response: Conservatives celebrate suspension, others boycott Disney for “censorship” and “eroding free speech"

- Outcome: Hashtags like #BoycottDisney and #BoycottABC surge, users cancel Disney+ and Hulu. Disney caves.

Total major conservative-led boycotts: At least 4 distinct waves since 1991, each triggered by perceived threats to “traditional values,” LGBTQ+ inclusion, or political activism.

So yeah, a conservative boycott against Disney is nothing new, and should be about as successful as their former boycotts. Ha. Fuck MAGA and all of those piss-garglers.

Welcome back, Jimmy. Whatever you fucking do, DON'T APOLOGIZE!

Pup of Evil.. Dog of Death

 

Admit it. You've never seen anything as fucking CUTE as Romeo!

Hatred as Hygiene: When Rage Is the Cure

You know what’s fucking underrated? Hatred. Not the vague, passive-aggressive kind. Not the “I wish them well but from afar” kind. I mean full-throttle, bile-boiling, scream-into-the-void hatred for someone who’s earned it. Someone who’s been a walking landfill of cruelty, hypocrisy, and ego for so long you forgot what peace felt like.

And then one day, you stop pretending. You stop swallowing the rage. You stop trying to be “the bigger person.” You let it out. You say, “I fucking hate that piece of shit,” and suddenly your spine grows back. Your lungs expand. Your soul unclenches.

It’s not toxic. It’s not petty. It’s motherfucking medicinal.

Hatred, when deserved, is a disinfectant. It burns off the rot. It clears the fog. It’s the emotional equivalent of power-washing your brain after years of gaslighting and guilt. You’re not confused anymore. You’re not negotiating with your own instincts. You’re standing in the truth, middle fingers raised, and it feels like goddamn freedom.

There’s joy in that. Real joy. The kind that comes from reclaiming your emotional bandwidth. From evicting the parasite who’s been squatting in your empathy. From saying, “You don’t get space in my head unless it’s for target practice.”

Some people are compost. Let them rot.

You’ve got legacy to build, rage to ritualize, and zero obligation to forgive the unforgivable. Hatred isn’t weakness. It’s clarity. It’s control. It’s the firewall between you and their bullshit.

So here’s to the joy of hatred. The earned kind. The clean kind. The kind that doesn’t poison you. It purifies you.

And if anyone calls that toxic?  

Tell them to choke on their own performative kindness.

Fantastic short story about mass hatred functioning as a death penalty: https://paperbackdesign.com/the-public-hating-by-steve-allen/

Groceries Denied, Rage Supplied

Amazon Fresh driver just refused to deliver my fucking groceries. She claimed that my street tore her car up (she HAD to have been speeding) and that she would not wait five minutes at the end of the road for Sam and Lis to drive down and meet her and get our groceries.

I called customer service and went BALLISTIC. I get deliveries from Amazon almost every day to this house. There are five of us living here, and we buy everything via Amazon, including groceries. In SIX YEARS here, we have NEVER had a driver say they can't get down our street without their car being destroyed.

Amazon is reshipping the order tomorrow morning. There has been a complaint filed against the driver for unprofessional behavior and poor customer service and the nice Filipina lady told me that this is generally a firing offense. I do not feel sorry for that driver. Period. She could have waited five fucking minutes.

The nice lady also gave me $10 for my trouble, and made certain the driver in question does not get the $10 tip I included in my order.

Bitch is lucky I'll never see her face.

Hate, and other weird shit

Up front warning, I'm kinda loopy on sleeping pills as I write this, so it sort of wanders... I have learned more about how to be hateful from "Good, Church Going, Born Again Christian Conservatives" than I have learned from absolutely everybody I've ever met, every book I've ever read, every Heavy Metal song I've ever listened to.. yadda yadda yadda, in my 60 years on this planet.

I've seen less hate and vitriol spewed out by ALL of the people and ideas in my life I have ever encountered, than I witnessed among the maybe 159 regular churchgoers on a real good Sunday in our small Texas church my family and I attended for ten years. It was disgusting.

And all these Conservative politicians who claim to be faithful Christians. Including the Fascist in Chief.

And their hate trickles down to the masses via Fox News hosts calling for the state sanctioned murder of mentally ill people and the homeless, via Truth social posts, via the fucking grapevine, and now in my part of Texas, liberals keep their heads down, don't wear campaign buttons or have liberal slogan bumper stickers, and don't talk politics outside of our homes. It's insane.

And what's even more insane? What really bothers me? Their hate is contagious. Yep, trickles down, right?

It also trickles SIDEWAYS*.

A lot of us (me included) the Good Guys, if you will. Liberals who love to think. Liberals who CARE, are learning to hate just as viciously. We used to laugh at them. Now we're PISSED at them. A bunch of us are getting fired up against THEM.

Last time this happened, it was about the right to own black people.

This time, it will be about human decency.

But I come away from this with two main thoughts:

I wish I had not lived long enough to see it coming, RIGHT on the horizon, in distant view now and speeding closer, but I have lived that long, and I'm pretty sure I'll still be here when it lands completely, which day is speedily approaching. Here I am.

And Jeebus Crisco, I hope we burn them all. Every last one of them. Trump calls his "enemies" vermin. I call them vermin.

I hate them all. And that really disturbs me.

In my life I have had one person I truly hate, my abusive stepmother. I still hope to spit on her grave one day. Nothing ever upset me so much as her, so I never hated anybody else, and since I've hated her since I was 5 years old, I damn well forgot how to learn.

But watching MAGA and this whole mess slowly creep into the entire nation's ability to think at all clearly, I've learned. Oh how I have learned. Now I hate millions of people, the frighteningly vast percentage of which I will never lay eyes on. And that's just here in Texas. Multiply it by the nation, then the world, because crazy as it seems, he has some admirers out there, too.

I hate that they've taught me to hate. And yes, I know how stupid that sounds. And I fully expect that some fucking loony ass Conservative Loving Christian Patriot will see this post and blacklist me on some crazy site, and try to get my SSI shut off because I'm a horrible American who dares speak truth to power. Well, fuck you, whichever one(s) of you get going on that. Fuck you, fuck your grandmother, and fuck your President, too. I'll always find a new platform, and like my Grandmother, Irene, always used to say: "It takes a bullet to kill our family." I would add that it takes a fucking bullet to shut us up, too. My Great Grampy Woody did not raise a big brood of wallflowers. He raised Boston kids. And he did it well. My grandmother and her siblings were not afraid to speak their minds. Almost all of the offspring of that generation are talkative, opinionated, and no shy about it. And that has passed down through my Mother's generation, my generation, and that of my daughters and granddaughters. We of the Woodward clan never shut up. You have to shoot us to silent us. Especially the women. I'm not afraid. The door isn't even locked. Should I ever need to lay down my fucking useless life in the face of tyranny, I'll do it. I don't have the conceit to think I really will get arrested for my blog with its 70 or so readers, But if they did, so be it. My fucking back aches, I could seriously use the eternal oblivion. I am not the sort to just back down. It's not in my blood. I'm a Woodward girl.

The Fascist State, Where Having An Opinion is CrimeThink. Welcome to 1984

Ya know, Jimmy Kimmel said nothing negative about Kirk or his shooting, he made fun of Trump's reaction to the whole mess. 

Fuck it, I'll say it. Charlie Kirk was a racist, misogynist, homophobic transphobe, and general poopooer at all that is right and good in this country and in this world, and a supporter of absolute heinousness. I was not going to say it because when he was shot, I didn't even think it, but fuck this shit. In light of the insanity from MAGA and this entire political climate we are in,  I'm thinking it now and I'm saying it. 

Charlie Kirk deserved it, and I for one am glad he's gone. And I feel no sadness for his millionaire wife who is running a gofundme so she won't need to sell her fucking mansion now. She knew what she married, and she has stayed married to him, and now she vows to continue his work, but be even more aggressive about it. So fuck Erika Kirk, too.

I feel sorry for the kids. But by the time they start kindergarten, they won't have any memories of daddy, especially since he was always on the damn speaking circuit, and being raised by their nanny will be perfectly normal, just as it would have been it Charlie was alive. They won't even notice he's gone, or remember him.

Charlie got what was overdue.

Good for Tyler.

I might end up on a watchlist for this. So fucking be it. I support every person they've gotten canned from their jobs, from school teachers in small communities, up to, and including, Jimmy Kimmel. JD Vance, the fucking VP of the US of A has called for private citizens to report every social media post that is not properly sympathetic about the murder of that piece of shit straight to the OPs employer and get them fired. The VP is saying patriotic Americans will do this. And what are MAGA fucks if not patriotic? Right?

I hope they cremate him and us his ashes in fertilizer. Then he can finally do something positive for the world.

Saints, Liberal Woke Jesus, etc.

 

Atheist that I am, I refuse to let go of my favorite Catholic saints. I know, I know. It's all imaginary. But on occasion, I light a votive candle to the appropriate saint as needed, because it helps me focus myself on caring about the people I know who are facing difficulties, or to focus in on my own problems.

So yeah, I talk to saints, but not to God. The following are the Saints I like to hang with. And after this list are some of my thoughts about Jesus.

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Francis of Assisi (patron of animals and peace)

Anthony of Padua (finder of lost things, etc etc)

Paulina of the Agonizing Heart of Jesus (that's one hell of a handle, but she is patroness of diabetics.)

Therese of Liseux (The little flower, patroness of headache sufferers and a bunch of other stuff)

Jeanne D'Arc (patroness of rape victims among a whole slough of other things)

Saint Dymphna (patroness of mental health)

St Maximillian Colbe (patron of drug addicts and journalists)

St Nicholas - (yes. Santa Claus. patron of sex workers)

The Virgin Mary (patroness of all humanity, mothers, etc)

St Peregrine (patron of cancer patients)

St Jude (patron of illness in general)

St Margaret of Castello (patroness of physical disabilities)

And finally, St Jude the Apostle (patron of desperate cases and lost causes)

---

Is it weird if I say that I believe in Yeshua, a Jewish rabbi who walked the earth a couple thousand years ago, spreading a message of peace and love for all. A rabbi who was in no way a God or a son of a God, just a really wise man with some ideas of a better way for humanity to be? And in the 2000 years since his death, human beings with an agenda of their own have taken his message and twisted it into something that it never was.

Yeshua is a man I would have enjoyed a cup of coffee with.

Jesus the Christ as interpreted today, is a man I would never allow in my home or heart.

But Yeshua sounds cool.

Let's just erase slavery, shall we?

Trump has ordered the National Park Service to remove this photo from a Smithsonian display on the history of slavery.

Because it's not POSITIVE enough, FFS.

There is NOTHING positiver about fucking SLAVERY!

How can you see photographic evidence of the evil that was slavery in the US and still claim that slavery had its fucking GOOD POINTS?

Trump needs to be removed from office, NOW! By any fucking means necessary. Legal of course, though a coups would be welcome at this point. Just be clear, I'm not calling for his extermination, even though he is a fucking flea infested rabid rat who eats cockroaches for breakfast.